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September Contest: Forged Steel by H.A. Titus

Downtown at two AM. If that was a mathematical equation, the answer would be creepy times ten. I took a gulp of coffee.

Outside our booth window sat a table full of Goths who clutched their coffee mugs like weapons and glared at anyone who got too close. An apparent dress code of mile-high spiked hair, ten pounds of facial piercings, and exposed boxers made the sidewalks an even bigger freak show.

Across the table, my roommate, Marc Gillam, stretched his arms above his head. The metal bracelet on his wrist clanked on the back of the booth. His mouth gaped in a silent yawn.

“Ready to go back yet?” I asked.

“Nope. Are you?”

“Oh, no. I love sitting here with my contacts getting all grainy and my chin dragging in my latte. I’m good.” I took another gulp. “Just surprised you want to stay out this late on a test night.”

“As if you care about tests.” Marc stared out the window.

He was right—I didn’t care.


Would you read on?

Are you desperate to know what happens next?

Why or why not?

Please leave a comment to let us know how this hooked you or failed to!

5 comments on “September Contest: Forged Steel by H.A. Titus

  1. Kat Heckenbach
    September 15, 2012

    I would definitely read more. The title alone is intriguing (which is what made me read the excerpt in the first place). Nice, tight writing. Great imagery. And the voice of the piece is strong.

    September 16, 2012

    I would read. Seems like the pair have a personality worth exploring.

  3. krs67
    September 20, 2012

    I would like to read more. I’m curious to know why they are where they are.

  4. Gay Ingram (@IngramGay)
    September 28, 2012

    Definitely want more – characters well established – visual scene – love the tight writing!

  5. Cindy Koepp
    September 29, 2012

    I’ve read more of this tale lately. Very much fun. (:

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This entry was posted on September 15, 2012 by in September Best Opening Paragraphs.

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